Pants On The Ground

Last year Larry Platt made a splash with his original song performed for his American Idol audition. Now lets be honest, everyone, including Mr. Platt, knew that he was not going to get a “golden ticket”. So, why would they air his audition? Well, he was certainly entertaining, but I think we can learn much more from it.

I have seen everyone from Lil’ Wayne to Justin Bieber, to the guy taking his girlfriend to Applebee’s walking around like my son when he doesn’t make it to the potty and is carrying a load. At first it was mildly amusing. It reminded me of when people would walk through amusement parks with wet pants and of when I was in junior high and it was cool to let your boxers show. I remembered back then and thought of how silly those boys I thought were cute must have looked. Especially, since I went to private school. Nothing screams “Thug Life” like a Lutheran school uniform.

That was my reaction before I really started looking. I saw boys holding the front of their pants as they walked down the street. It took me a while before I noticed that it was not just boxers peeking out, a whole backside. WHAT!?! Why is that ok? Then I saw women and men doing it. ARE YOU SERIOUS!?! I think the final straw when I saw a man the other day who was clearly old enough to know better (Can you say middle age?) waddling down the street sagging. FOR REAL, DUDE!?!

This is ridiculous. A hint of underwear is one thing, but your whole rear end hanging out is disgusting. I would like a better barrier between myself and your farts and skid marks than your underwear.

Not only that, but with the unemployment rate at close to 20% (17.5 when I checked) you are only strengthening the case against you. I know you want to be like Wayne and I don’t blame you in some regard. He is rich (I assume) and gets to make his own rules, but unless you are certified platinum pick your pants up. Wayne, Bieber, and Usher are not trying to get a job with a 401k plan or health benefits for their kids. You are.

You might say that you would not dress that way for an interview, but nobody is going to tell you they are hiring in the first place when you are looking like that. Don’t you get it? People are watching and networking all the time. You are your own advertisement and unless you are “selling something strange to make a little change” showing your but is not good marketing.

The other day I stared at a guy walking into a restaurant with his girlfriend. I had just eaten and the sight of his butt literally almost made me vomit. After seeing the look on my face he fixed them until he got inside. I can’t believe he thinks it is ok to walk in his drawers past people’s tables, plates, and open mouths.

My husband says the trend will continue until girls stop giving their numbers and going out with these fools. That’s right, I said it. If you are a wearer of sagging pants you are a fool. I don’t care if you have a degree is chemical engineering and work for NASA. A man/woman walking around with his/her booty out and not getting paid for it is a fool. The only thing worse is the pathetic soul walking with them. Do you really have such little concern for yourself that you would be brought to a fool’s level merely by association? Think about how embarrassed he/she came to your job in that outfit. Birds of a feather flock together and I bet you don’t get job leads when you two are hanging out together.

NO! You get dirty looks, muffled sighs, some finger pointing, and laughing from people who realize that you are the clown whether you know it or not.

You know why I think they showed Mr. Platt’s song? It is because the people with the “golden tickets” have been laughing at you the whole time anyway. I’m not sure it is so funny.