I don’t like to trivialize my faith, but it is a Biblical fact that what you name your child matters. Some names have clear and obvious meanings like Hope, Faith, Joy, Hunter, and Jesus. Others just carry personal meaning. Both my children are named after important people in our lives. I am convinced that Tameka secretly means skinny girl with a bad attitude because that describes every Tameka I have ever met. It may also mean crazy as bats in bright light.
JJ Santana - “I don’t like girls with stripper names”
Jigga – “Summer” She is also not down with dating guys born under the Leo sign, but she will make the sacrifice to date a guy named Leo if his last name is DiCaprio.
Mallow – reports “Until 2009 girls named Tiffany” made her list of don’t likes. I, myself, don’t like the Tiffani. There is something about the i that just changes the tone and doesn’t work for me.
The name Princess is a perfect example. I am sure people use it thinking that their baby girl will be like Cinderella, Aurora (Sleeping Beauty), or more recently Princess Tiana, but I have never in my life met a girl named Princess who looked like one. They all look a little off, which may be fitting considering most royals are inbred.
Think about it for a minute and you too will admit that there are some names that just rub you the wrong way. It is usually because of past interactions. While I never would have picked my LoLo Monster’s first name on my own I did not protest because it brought back memories of how the cute/cool boy in class always had that name. The name did not disappoint. My son is gorgeous and his personality constantly draws a crowd. He is remarkably comfortable in his skin and like his Biblical namesake, he is stubborn and hard to redirect once his mind is made up. My sweet Suga Buga is named after two very strong willed women and once she gets started there is no turning back. She makes sure that you always know exactly how she feels. Just ask the nurse who had the audacity to disturb her peace by giving her two vaccine shots yesterday. I heard she tore the roof of that joint.
Despite my past attraction to guys named Jason, I can say with full certainty that in my case they do not make good boyfriends. Janaan + Jason = Unholy union of crazy, cheating and drama. It makes for great war stories, but not for good day to day real life. Most Katrina’s I know are man-crazy. Brenda’s are loyal. David’s make great friends. Phillip’s are usually cute and charming, but beware because they are often cheaters. Michael’s have a good sense of humor. Daryl’s are socially awkward, but great if you have the patience to get to know one. Ryan’s are CHEAP. Christopher‘s are sensitive mama’s boys and I mean that in the nicest way possible. All Kia’s, Nia’s and Tia’s are fun to hang out with. Amanda’s can go either way. They are either awesome or BIPOLAR CRAZY. There is no gray area and it does not take long to figure out which one you are dealing with.
I know it may seem wrong to judge people on what feels like a shallow level, but you are already doing it. Why not just admit it? Parents think before you name your kid. Is this a name that they can really live up to? Do I want my kid to turn out like that person I sat next to in math class? Do you remember the name of the kid who used to eat their buggies, or paste, or chew their eraser? I do. His name was Daryl. You can rest assured that Daryl is not LoLo’s real name. Your name says a lot about who you are. Even if your parents just did a word scramble of their names. That alone says that you were raised by crazy self-centered jerks that cared more about their amusement than giving you a suitable moniker and that you probably inherited some jacked up DNA.
With that said I know there are some people that I know from our introduction I will not get along with. Tameka’s of the world I am talking to you.
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