Embracing Old

I don’t understand why so many people are against getting old. Especially, since none of these people are jumping to the front of the line to die. I understand the desire to remain healthy and active even as you age, but that has nothing to do with most of the age refusal that I see.

We spend most of our adolescence and our early 20’s trying to get people to accept us as adults, but the minute we hit 25 and a teenager makes a comment about things from “back in the day” we go into a panic and begin declaring that we are “not that old.” I am not even sure what that really means. The truth is that if your childhood is more than a decade (or two) away then a current teenager will think of it as a long time ago. What is the big deal? That just means that you survived puberty- which if you remember is a big deal. This kid could benefit from your experience. Why deny them that opportunity by devaluing your age earned wisdom with assertions of your state of youth. What you are really saying is that you are still virtually in the same place they are. Then you wonder why they don’t come to you for advice. The truth is they can get dumb teenage advice from their dumb teenage friends. You have just rendered yourself useless because you refuse to accept the maturity and value that comes from being “old”.

I will admit that the first time you realize that you are not the youngest person in the staff meeting or someone calls you mam or sir, it is a little disconcerting, but it is not cause for a meltdown. I worked hard to live this long and I have gone through a lot for this gray hair and I am glad that someone recognizes that I deserve a moniker denoting respect. That is right, call me “Mam” and address me as a person of authority. We are not on the same level and I should not be on first name basis with a 10 year old or that 10 year-old’s 18 year-old sibling.

I understand that everyone wants to look good and that it is hard to take in some of the changes that the human body makes as it ages. It is weird to see things start to sag. I am a firm (pun intended) believer in trying to keep it tight. I encourage working out and wearing appropriate support garments. I don’t judge people who dye their gray. I am not even against people who want to get a nip and tuck. I will admit that I like the look of getting older. I think my mother looks fabulous with her natural face and my daddy is still quite handsome without getting any work done and from the looks of my older sister I should be okay with the way I age, but a person is entitled to look the way they want to look. My major gripe is that we fight aging as though it is a disease. I embrace getting old because I understand that it only adds to my value.

What I disagree with is the refusal to "grow up" and mature. Remember when you and your friends used to make fun of the "old" guy in the club or that mother who thought was the "cool" mom because she wore all the same styles you did. Well, a little botox doesn't change the fact that it is still not cool to be that person. If you want to feel young or look good for your age then great, but don't try to act like we all don't know how old you are. We might not know that you are 70, but we know that you aren't 30 or 40 no matter what kind of work you have had done or how good your natural bone structure is. When in doubt, just remember that guy with the toupee drinking alone at the end of the bar or the grandma in the too tight leopard dress. If what you are doing seems even remotely similar or if you get those looks from people who really are 25 then stop pretend to be joking and exit immediately.

If you don’t want to get old then you should die. I know it sounds harsh, but those are the choices that we have in life. No matter what kind of work you have done you will never look the way you did in your 20’s as a 60 year old. You just look like a very shiny, pulled back version of your 60 year old self. If that is what you want then I say go for it, but don’t think that you can go back and start acting like a 20 year old and get the respect your 60 years should have earned you.

We wonder why kids today don’t have respect for their elders, but the truth is most of us don’t want to step and acknowledge that we are elders and demand the respect that comes with the title. I am 30 and I refuse to be treated as though I am my 20 year old niece’s peer. I expect her to respect me as older and the older I get the more respect I demand. When I am 80 I want people holding my door, offering me a seat and offering to carry my groceries. I will do like my father and go to the store on Seniors Discount Day and proudly whip out my ID for 10% off. If I decide to go skydiving or run a marathon, I want to be treated better than the other runners and jumpers. I want to be pampered and given special privileges. If I want to arrive at the bank at 7 AM and wait for it to open so that I can talk to the teller for an extra 5 minutes then that is what I will do and I don’t expect to hear you tapping your foot or sucking your teeth. It is not my fault you are late for work. You should have gone to the ATM or used your smart phone for your transaction. If I want to discuss my coupons at checkout that is my right and if you don’t like it you can use the self-checkout.

I deserve that for choosing not to die.