Man, I feel like a Woman

I still remember that day first day. It was cool winter morning few months before I turned 12 and I woke up to go to school. I went to the bathroom only to find out that my time as a child was over. The next few minutes went like this:

Me - (angry whisper) Damn!. (yelling) Mommy!
Mommy - Oh...(looking concerned) I'll be right back.
Me - (waiting)
Mommy - When did this start?
Me - I woke up and it was there.
Mommy - You know what this means/is?
Me - Yeah.
Mommy - How much do you know about sex?
Me - Enough. (Talking to my mother about sex still makes my eyes burn. I have 2 kids and I would still pretend to be virgin if I thought I could get away with it.)
Mommy - Well, welcome to womanhood. (Tosses the pink package and closes the door.)

That was how "the talk" went down at my house. That was how we shared that mother-daughter milestone. I wish she had been there for me this morning when after almost 2 years (including being pregnant) I woke up much the same way I did that morning. I wish she could have helped me process my feelings of sadness and anger. I don't understand why a person who can't have babies should have a cycle. It is cruel and unfair. All the manure and none of the flowers.

To make my morning more interesting I had the pleasure of taking my LoLo to school twice this morning. I went to pay his enrollment, but did not intend for him to stay. He had a small meltdown when I told him we were leaving and the principal told him he could stay if he wore a costume because his mother did not have a uniform. (How was I supposed to know the store wasn't open on Sunday. I mean really it is a uniform store, not Chick-Fil-A. Even church is open on Sunday.) So, I drive home and return with to school with my cowboy. I did not get a picture of him at school because I was too scared to take one considering class starts at 8 and I interrupted the reading circle by showing up with "Sheriff Woody" at almost 9.

I think the cramping must have had me making faces because his teacher was very accommodating and nobody at work said anything to me about being over an hour late. Everyone has been all smiles and calm voices. You know what they say about wolves smelling fear, well, I think people here can sense when I am about to blow and they pull back just enough to prevent collateral damage.

Today was a day of FIRSTS. It is LoLo's first day at school (not a daycare, but an actual school). It is my first day back on the red wagon and it is the first time in a long time that I have not wanted to run screaming from my desk. Not bad for a Monday.