Yoga Master

I must begin by apologizing to Lotus. I promised that I would post yesterday and did not follow through. Sorry!!!! This is the post from yesterday.

I hate yoga! I am the only person that I know that wants to have an all-out bar fight style brawl after an hour of meditation. Apparently, I have some unresolved rage/anger issues because right after I “clear my mind” I become anxious, then agitated, followed by upset/fidgety, which ultimately leads to full blown frustration and anger. I almost always end tenser than I was when I started. I guess my inner self and my outer self do not want to get in touch with each other.

My ideal workout is going for a run and then doing some weights and ending with a walk and a really good stretch. The problem is that since my UC diagnosis I have not been able to do that. When I first went into remission, I tried to go back to working out like before and after 3 days I went into a flare. After that round of steroids I thought I would try something easier and bought a 10 min dance workout video to do before work. After 1 week I went into a flare. I decided to give it a break for a while and after my 3^rd steroid taper and a month of no issues I started P90x. I will admit that in retrospect I can see how doing something that intense was not my best idea. I did it and loved it, but after 2 weeks my colon went into overdrive again. I then joined a gym and got a personal trainer, thinking that maybe I would do better with professional help. That was working out ok for my colon, but after about a month I realized he had me on a muscle building program that instead of making me smaller was making my thighs and arms bigger. What average woman wants that? I quit that after what I thought was a flare. It was actually my body notifying me that Suga Booga was using my body for free room and board.

So here I am. I am overweight and feeling as though I am out of options. I have talked to my doctors (Yes, I have more than one.) after each flare. I have been put on restriction more than once. I have now been given permission to walk and do light exercise like…YOGA. Argh! Just the thought of yoga makes me want to say words that Jesus promised to cleanse from my vocabulary. I started walking and going to the YMCA. (I go with my mother because she is one of the few people who can keep me in line and stop me from overexerting by running and using all the weight machines. Plus it is one of the few places we don’t argue.) I try to go at least 2 times a week and I love it so far. My goal is to take it a slowly as possible because I refuse to do another steroid taper.

The thing is I am 40 lbs. away from my normal/goal weight. That is good because I have had at least 6 rounds of steroids and a baby since diagnosis. A 10 day steroid taper can easily result in an extra 10 lbs. and we all know that babies good for at least 30 unwanted pounds. All and all 40 pounds is not bad, but it is not good either.  So I thought maybe I should figure out a way to give yoga another shot. I have heard from many a devotee that I must not be doing it right if I don’t leave feeling relaxed and more connected. My typical response it to tell them to shove it and letting them know about my desire to punch yoga devotees in the face, but after I read in the Blood Type diet that people like me respond better to cardio that became my go to response. It gets a better reaction, at least.

I have tried yoga in many different forms. I tried it in a high school gym class. I tried videos. I tried it in a class with some friends. It is not just yoga I don’t like. I’ve even tried Tai Chi and left because I could not take the silence and all the slow movements. I am just not well suited to that kind of environment. It does not relax me. It makes my mind race and in turn makes me more anxious. Then I had an epiphany. It came to me like angels singing in a field of wildflowers or some other corny movie scene. P90x has a yoga DVD. “I could totally do that”, I thought. It will be intense enough for me to have something to focus on and low impact enough to keep my colon from jumping ship.

I have done it for a few days and I love it. I can only do about 40 minutes of the 90 minute workout, but at the end of those 40 minutes I am sweating and happy, instead of annoyed. He tells you to clear your mind and focus on the present, but I don’t feel like I have to. I let my mind wander as I try to keep up with his pace. I think I may have found my niche. I still plan to go the Y on Tuesday and Thursday for cardio because I have upgraded to the elliptical and some light weights, but this is a great 3 day a week filler.

I am so into it right now that I am trying to convince Chyna and Mallow to do it, too. Who knew I would be one of those annoying yoga people. I just hope I don’t end up having to punch myself in the face.