4 Hours Vs. 40 Pounds

So, I read a story last week about a Senator losing 50 lbs. using Twitter as her accountability plan. I thought to myself - that is a great idea. It was one of those stories that give you hope on days when you can't seem to motivate yourself to keep up with workouts and just want to give up. She made me feel like I could do it, too. I just knew that it was only a matter of time before I could write about how I lost my last 40 pounds of baby weight and could join her in doing the happy dance.

That was then and today is a new day. It is a new day, but I have an old problem. It seems that between the hours of 2 and 6 pm I turn into a ravenous beast who can only be satiated with copious amounts of snacking. I have tried to bring snack alternative, but I eat those and the bad snack because I never stop wanting the "bad" snack. There is no way to convince myself that a yogurt is the same as a piece of pie/cake or scoop of ice cream. Any attempts to do so just wind up wasting time and adding unnecessary calories.

I have tried to just not eat any snack during this time of day and that only makes me frustrated and difficult to work with because I am either distracted by my thoughts of food or cranky because I have not eaten. Every aggravation, every assignment that I want to procrastinate on, every time I feel like nodding away at my desk I think to myself, "I should get a _____" and that thought just lingers and circles over and around me until either I give in or go home. I can only imagine that this is a small dose of what my OCD clients experience. It increases my empathy by leaps and bounds.

You know what they say about, "The heart wants what the heart wants"? Well, I have the heart of a fat girl and she wants snacks.

The thing is that I don't want to look and feel like someone who is out of shape. So the battle is on. Will I give in to the 4 hours snack attack or will I stay on track and drop those last 40?

In case you were wondering about today. Snacks won. 1 pack peanut butter crackers and 1 pack salted cashews. (I don't even like cashews!) That is my one trick. Whenever I really want to stop myself from eating or just stop being hungry I eat something I hate. I learned that in college when I had no money for food. I had oatmeal which I HATE!!!! After 2 spoonfuls of oatmeal or whatever else (just the suggestion of sardines is a party killer) and my hunger is gone. It is like my body is saying "If this is the best you can do, I'll pass." It is a dirty play, but (with 40 pounds and a whole wardrobe at stake) a girl can't always fight fair!