A Rut

Some days I wonder, have I lost my edge as well as my abs. There are many days when I sit at work and wonder how I got so comfortable sitting behind a desk. I realize that part of the problem is that I am not really happy with where I am in life and most of the time I feel too tired to do anything about it.

I realize the reason the weight is not coming off like it did the last time is because I just don't feel like I should have to work that hard. I don' t want to go on a diet. I don't want to have to add going to the gym to my massive list of things to do. I am pretty sure that the way I feel qualifies me as being in a rut.

I do the same things at work everyday and while I never found my work to be particularly challenging (I will never understand why they required a college education for a job that mostly consists of making haircut appointments,, dinner reservations, and using the scanner function on the copy machine.), but I am procrastinating even more than usual. I found myself looking at my desk the other day thinking "someone should really take care of this" then I realized that the someone whose job it is is me. You know it is bad when you realize you would fire yourself. Yes, it is really that bad!

Things are better when I go home, but I there I am inundated with things that always take precedence over whatever it is that I have planned upon walking in the door. I may have mapped out exactly how I think the evening should go, but with two kids you know that is not how things go down at my house. I usually spend my evening trying to convince LoLo to eat and Suga to stop throwing her paci. I spend my night not catching up on my to do list, but treading water to keep my house just above disaster level and yelling things like, "Don't poot in your sister's closet" or "That is not a pocket" or my personal favorite, "Do you hear me talking to you?" Couple that fun with the baking business that I am constantly working on and all I can say is thank God I married a good one. (I may have married him because he is HOT, but I stay because he is sweet!)

I have a few friends who feel the same way. We are all going through something, be it divorce, buying a house, not liking your husband, figuring out dating, or planning a career change and to be honest there are some times when you are just OVER it! That is where I am right now. I figure the only way to get out of this rut is to acknowledge that I am in it and then plan my escape.

I am thinking a vacation might be the trick.