Comparisons

So it has already started- the comparisons. LoLo is constantly making comparisons about who is bigger, smaller, taller, etc. For now it is purely a anecdotal or dare I say scientific enterprise. He just calls out observations. The problem is that one day that will arrive sooner than I would like those comparisons will become more self-critical.

I now understand the reasoning behind all those ridiculous coddleling parents. They keep trying to sheild their child from the idea that someone is smarter, taller, faster, or better-looking than their child. Probably because they don't want to admit that their perfect baby is really just an average child. I get it now! The thing is, I still don't believe that it works because despite your best efforts to cover it up your child will find out the truth- he/she will not win them ALL. Your refusal to acknowledge that fact and teach them how to deal with it only makes the matter more confusing and upsetting.

This does not mean that you should go around slapping your child and calling him a loser- even if it is true. A parents love should be seen as unconditional and unwavering, but a parent must also be honest about those things we need to work harder on.

So why do some of us continue to short change our kids by punking out? I don't know and as a therapist that works specifically with addiction recovery, I really wish people would stop. Your kids can't cope with life and everytime they make a comparison and see a lack they give up and drift further into ridiculous behavior. Tell the truth you think their short comings are a reflection of you and that if you pretend that they don't have any then it will be ok?

WRONG! I don't want LoLo to ever think of himself as less than, but I am not going to pretend that he is the "be all, end all" of anyone's world, but mine and Husband. One day he is going to realize that someone is taller, stronger, and although I seriously doubt it being possible he may meet someone more handsome or smarter. I want him to be prepared to accept it, deal with the moment and figure out a way to still be his best self knowing that his moment to be the best will soon come.