My Inside Voice

My inside voice is out to get me into trouble. It is at the root of all my bad behavior. It is currently giving me very good excuses for why I should not go to the gym after work. It has so far tried guilt: "You should go home and take care of your family because they need you." It has tried rationalizing - "You did eat a salad for lunch and you don't want to do to much too soon." The procrastination tactic - "We could always try starting tomorrow.

The most recent was the reward yourself tactic- "You have had a hard day at work and deserve to rest," but it is not going to work today. I am determined to do better. Besides my attempt to get back into my old clothes, I really feel better after I work out. I am a happier person when I am healthy.

So I am going to go to the gym for the greater good of society. That way the next time a Mary Kay lady tosses her full cup of sweet tea into the garbage as I walk by and it splashes everywhere including into my shoe I can keep walking without devolving into full blown meltdown and screaming fit. (I have a serious issue with things touching my feet and this really did happen this morning.)

I am going to remind myself that going to the gym will keep me employed because I will have lots of happy endorphins to keep me from screaming, "Hey there, NOSY," the next time Lady Boss listens to my phone conversation from her office or interjects when someone asks me a direct question. A good workout will keep me from screaming "I am a grown up person" or "Damn it, I can read" the next time my Hover Boss comes and explains that he has something he wants shredded and then proceeds to write a "SHRED" post it for it, only to come back and remind me that the papers he is about to give me are confidential.

I am going to go to the gym because I don't want to be one of those people who chases the person who cut them off down the highway making crazy hand gestures. God wants me to go to the gym because I sincerely believe that God wants me to be a good person.

It is like Elle Woods says, "Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people just don't [up and kill people], they just don't."