No Good Age

I have realized that there is no "good time" to have children. When you are at your healthiest and your body can handle it (teens/early 20's) your mind and wallet can't and when you finally reach a place mentally to handle kids they make you so tired that you will often find yourself thinking like Danny Glover, "I am too old for this ___."

You may notice that I left off the idea about being financially ready. That is because unless you are Oprah rich you will never feel like you make enough money to take care of a person who is totally dependent on you for the next 18 years.

Husband and I are not young adults, but we are not middle-aged adults yet, either. We are simply adults. We did not have kids until we were adults. We waited until we had stable jobs, (Ha, that is a joke these days.) a home, and enough sense to know that we would have to put in the work because our parents would never let us pawn our kids off on them. Mentally and emotionally, we are in the best shape of our lives.

The problem is that physically, we as adults, are not in the best shape ever. This is not because we are overweight or out of shape. Although, I will admit that I am still working on losing the rest of the baby weight. Overall, we are healthy and fit, but we are at the point now where when we fall IT HURTS! We don't bounce like we used to and staying up all night for fun is a thing of the past.

Last night we went out to see a friend and celebrate a birthday. There was no drinking involved- just sitting and eating and a little conversation. By 10 PM I was cracking. Shortly after, we paid, left, picked up the kids, put them to bed and must have blacked out because that is where my memory stops. When the alarm went off this morning it physically hurt to open my eyes. LoLo said, "I don't want to go to school, Mommy" and what do you think I said in reply. Instead of my usual pep talk about how fun the day would be, he got a simple, "Me neither."

What happened to the girl who stayed up for 3 straight days to party in Cancun? (Yes. I was sober!) What happened to the person who could hang at Applebee's 'til closing on a Friday night and then go do therapy at the methadone center at 6 AM Saturday morning? I'll tell you what happened. She grew up and became an adult and if you think you don't know what I mean, think about it.

What happened the last time you tried to "Wobble with it" or "Drop it Low"? Did it come right back up again? Last time you slipped, did you get right back up or did need some deep breaths? Do you know have to brace yourself to climb the ladder? Do you need a pep talk before what used to be an easy run? It is ok if you do. I know how you feel.

I used to be able to do all those things without even thinking about it. That would have been a great time physically to chase a 3 year old and carry a 8 month old around the house, but those poor kids would have been in big trouble. Those were not my best decision making years, hence, staying awake to party for 3 straight days.

Like I said, there is just no "good time" for kids.