Over

Have you ever just wanted a day to be over? You don't really care that it is still 8, 9 or 10 in the morning. You just know that if the rest of the day is going to go this way or feel this way then you would rather skip it and fast forward to the end. Kind of like that really bad Adam Sandler movie where he gets a magic remote.

That is kind of what I feel like today. My Suga is sick and I am overworked. I really don't want to turn into a Debbie Downer and I promise that I thought of some cute funny things to share, but today isn't that day.

I went to church as usual this past Sunday and the message was all about being honest and I would like to take this opportunity to be honest about a few things. I have been having a rough time lately with regards to my faith. I still believe whole heartedly in Jesus- his life, death, resurrection and saving grace, but I was really hurt by a church that I used to go to and it left me with a "whatever" kind of attitude.

I am not a "whatever" kind of person and this left me feeling like I was stuck in some kind of existential crisis. While in the throws of my search for myself I got lax in a lot of ways and let my guard down on some things. I am starting to feel focused again and I would like to admit that I have not been completely honest with everyone.

If you have heard me utter one of the following phrases I have not been completely honest with you and would like to take this time to clarify.

1. I've heard worse - What I meant to say is that what you are doing is COMPLETELY ridiculous, but I was hoping that you would figure that out on your own. Yes, I HAVE heard worse, but that is because I spend a great deal of time with people who get high. I am your friend and don't want to hurt your feelings, but what you need to do is stop the nonsense and get your life together. Try Jesus, it worked for me and I was a total wreck/skank.
2. That's the plan you decided to go with, huh? - This is my passive aggressive way of letting you know that your idea was terrible and I am just really glad that nobody got hurt.
3. You are so not allowed to give the pep talks - Your attitude sucks right now and I am on the verge of losing my patience and calling you out. Life is hard for everyone. Get over yourself. I will, however, still love you if you stop talking- right now.
4. But, you're ok though, right? - What you have just done is NOT okay. Your living through it does not make it ok. I am just too tired to explain all that was wrong and would rather just focus on the one bright spot...that you are still breathing.
5. You need Jesus! - This was not a lie. I felt it just deserved repeating.

That is about all the honesty that I can handle for today. Love you. That is the truth!