Party Pooper

I realized this morning that I am kind of a Debbie Downer. This is mostly with regard to my friends and their very interesting love lives. The problem is that I always want the things they say to make sense to me and usually they don't. This leads to me asking questions and inevitably I ruin the moment.

This is not, however, my intention. I want to rejoice with them and bask in the glow of new love and new possibilities. My problem is that I have trouble basking in the glow of a relationship that I am fairly certain is a bad idea.

Example:

Mallow tells me she was asked out by a guy that she has known for a while. When I ask about him, she gives me some generic answer about him being nice. I ask how he looks and she says, "Um, he is cuuute? He looks okay." My natural response, "Why would you date a guy that is not hot?" She repeated that he was nice, but I asked again what the point of dating someone you are not attracted to could possibly be, unless she was one of those people who believed that a person could become more attractive once you get to know them. I commended her if she was one of those people because I am self-aware enough to understand that I am shallow and for me a person is either hot or not.

It is like shopping for clothes. You take clothes to the dressing room because they look good on the hanger and you hope they will look good when you put them on. Why take your clothes off for something that did not even look good to you on the showroom floor. That just doesn't make sense to me. (I have also advised them to stop taking their clothes off for these clowns, but that is topic for another day. Lord, help me.)

I have also been known to ask questions like, "What is the point of this relationship? If you have to change most everything about him, are you really sure that you like him? Is this really how you want to spend your time? Don't you think it is a bad idea to start dating someone else before you tell your husband and family you want a divorce" and various other parade raining statements. I still affirm that I ask these questions out of love, but maybe I should start just listening to the story and saying, "Ok!" That is probably what they want to hear anyway, since it is well documented that they don't listen to me anyway.

I know they need the truth, but they also need my support. Right?