Finding My Place

I have always had a plan in life and I have done a pretty good job of sticking to it. I have had a plan from the moment someone asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I will admit to having tweaked this plan over the years as my style and tastes changed and has my strengths and weaknesses showed themselves. It did not require much tweaking because even in the 1st grade I knew I did not like Math and that I should probably go into a field that involved talking.

I had a plan for going to high school, college and grad school. I did all of those things and for the most part in my expected time line. (I went to grad school twice because I did not like the first one and that put me behind schedule.) I got married at the age I wanted and to the type of guy I wanted. I had kids at the age I wanted and the way I always anticipated - boy, girl. I theory I would have had two more, but that is one of those tweaks. After you have kids you realize you only want half as many as you originally planned. It even extends to may married life because every year Husband and I come up with a plan on our anniversary about what we want to work on and towards each year.

My problem now is that I don't have any real plan. Husband and I have been so caught up in other stuff that we did not come up with one and I have been so distracted that I have not come up with one for myself. That is why I am floating around and acting crazy. I have no direction. I am like a chicken without a head. It make a terrible mess, but provides a good show. I like having a plan. Plans keep me focused and help me to prioritize and evaluate what I really want and what is important to me. Without a plan I lack focus and anyone who knows me will tell you that I am already working with a deficit as far as being easily distracted. (Squirrels, shiny objects, pretty colors, shoes...you name it.)

I realized what the problem was this weekend and immediately decided to change course and come up with a plan. I just don't know what that plan should be. There are so many things that I need to work on.

I am open to suggestions.