I was trying to decide who to call the other day and as I scanned through my phone book I realized that I am a number hoarder. I have numbers to people I have no intention of calling and numbers for people that I have long since lost touch with and can only assume have changed their number since we last spoke. I thought about deleting them, but it was so hard to push that button. It felt so permanent. I got rid of some obvious ones like the old parking pass code and email address from my old job, but when it came down to it, I just could not erase those numbers.
Does that make me crazy? I guess seeing those numbers still make me feel connected, like they will some day call me and I will see that name light up on my screen and it will be just like old times. Maybe it is because those people remind me of the person I used to be before the husband and the children. I don't want to forget that girl. I have learned a lot from her.
So the numbers are still there even if the times and friends have changed. I think that's will be able to hit delete one day. I have been thinking about it a lot lately, but that day is not today.
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