Happy Divorce

I have two friends on the the divorce spectrum. Jigga is finalizing hers and Chyna is in dire need of one, but doing everything in her power to ignore the big white elephant in the room. She has instead chosen to live like she is divorced without the paperwork or separate apartment. It is kind of like when people say they don't need a "piece of paper to be married", but for divorce. I guess if I can be okay with JJ Santana "shacking" with her man then I could be okay with what Chyna is doing, but for some reason it just feels crazy to me. I think it is because what they have going on is just messy and I hate when things are messy.

I also have a friend who is probably in need of a divorce, but will never get one. I say that with a confidence that I reserve for absolutes like the existence of God. Their relationship is totally toxic, but the only person that seems to be a problem for is me. They are that couple that you stare at because you are just waiting for the train to go off the track in a glorious reck.  They are the couple that you are always expecting to break up. Every time she calls you after 10 pm you assume/hope beyond hope that it is to pull a Taylor Swift and tell you that they are "never EVER ever getting back together", but then one night she calls and screams into the phone that they are engaged. YAY!?@&!? You try to be happy, but you cannot imagine a scenario where they are a good match for each other.

In this case, my friend married a jerk with a drinking problem. I want to say that I have nothing against those who struggle with addiction. My only hope as a therapist is that they seek treatment and get the help that they need. The problem is that she married a jerk with a drinking problem. I sincerely think that she believed that his drinking is what made him a selfish mean jerk, but he is all those things sober. Now what is the excuse? Nothing, but she won't leave because she has invested so much time in this project and become so codependent that she just cannot bring herself to walk away. Let's be honest; starting over is much easier said than done.

This leaves me unsure of what to hope for. I have decided to go for him becoming a better person. I love a long shot. I just listen and pretend like this relationship does not make my face hurt. I also plan to celebrate Jigga getting her freedom papers and to sit and listen and be there for Chyna because when he bubble bursts it is going to be a mess and she is going to need someone to listen while she tries to clean it up.

Maybe "shacking" isn't so bad after all. Just joking, Jesus!