I don't know how many people remember that song "Maybe I Deserve" by Tank. I loved that song when it came and would probably sing it loudly in my car if it were to start playing (very little chance of that considering I mostly listen to the gospel station, but stranger things have happened- remember the cheating song lady doing a radio promo. I'm just saying.) The song is basically about a guy who cheated on his girlfriend telling her that he deserves to be treated the same way. When he is singing it sounds like he is saying that he wants to stay with her and would be willing to deal with some payback (FYI- he is not saying that.)
This song came to my mind after Husband told me that wife in one of our couple friends is filing for divorce. I am a little annoyed because I am well aware that as much as I like her, we are going to him in the divorce. Anyone who has been through it knows that friendships are like children and someone always ends up with "primary" custody and in this case he was Husband's friend first and then he got married. That means when they break-up we will be viewed primarily as his friend. Normally when someone files for divorce, I feel bad for the other person, but not this time. don't think she is blameless in that she let him slack off in so many ways with no repercussions under the guise of being supportive of him and his dreams. She worked and went to school, while letting him be at home half taking care of the kids. This fool takes the cake because he cheated and still seems perplexed as to why she does not want to stay.
Generally speaking, I do not find infidelity to be an automatic deal breaker. I think there are a lot of issues that need to be weighed by the people involved in the situation and I respect those that view it as a wake up call and work to overcome it and develop healthier and stronger relationships because of it. That was not the case this time. This is not his first time "dipping out", as Husband calls it. This girl has forgiven him at least three other times according to my count, including once with either a close friend or family member. I find that to be crazy. This last time happened after she left and he professed to realizing that he needed to do better overall. He was working. They seemed to have turned a corner and then...he lets some chick from work drive him home.
The neighbors dropped the dime on him and she confronted him and I guess he confessed. I won't even get into how annoyed I am by his continuous use of Bible verses to talk about becoming a better man and such, while being trifling. IThat burns my biscuits in a whole other kind of way, but hearing this story made me think of that song. I thought if anyone deserves to know what it is like to have someone bring another man into his home to dirty up the sheets, it is this dude. He deserves to wonder who she is texting and giggling with. He should be singing this song, but then it dawned on me that the guys who sing this kind of song are just doing it so that they can feel like things are even. Like by letting you do it, it somehow absolves them from any wrong doing. That is not at all what they deserve. It is certainly not what he deserves
He deserves to sit at home alone and broke with the knowledge that he ruined a beautiful family, hurt his wife and children, without anyone to blame it on but himself. Knowing that she was faithful and supportive when nobody else was there for him makes the sting so much stronger and that is what he deserves.
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