Today is my first day back to traditional hours and an adult client list. I am excited and nervous. I have worked here before, but things are never the same and so I wonder what it will be like. I got up this morning with the jitters that reminded me of the first day of school. What should I wear? How should my hair look? Does this look like I am trying too hard?
Things went pretty well in terms of leaving my old job. Everyone said they would miss me and told me how I added to the team. I even got gifts, but there is one thing that rubbed me raw. They announced the people nominated for Employee of the Quarter and I was not nominated. While I was not surprised, it did make me feel like they were all talk. If I am so important and valuable, why not nominate me? I guess it was not meant to be. It would have been nice to be nominated.
So, here I am getting ready to rejoin the masses in the morning scurry to work and I am worried that I don't know how to do mornings anymore. I have to change everything- my workout routine, dinner prep, kid time. My whole day has been shaken up, but I may never have to make school contacts again. Yippee!
Monday, April 29, 2013
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
Return of the Lazy
I have worked really hard for the last 3 months trying to lose weight. I am tired. I have done twice a day workouts. I have watched what I ate. I downloaded a calorie counter pp. I have started juicing. I have lost two sizes and could be well on my way to getting back into my pre-baby pants. Unfortunately, I woke up last week and realized that the lazy fat girl who lives inside me is back.
She is the one who tells me that I am too tired or don't have enough time to workout or that eating that piece of cake will somehow make me feel better about my job or my life. It it is that voice that tells me there has to be an easier way to get a flatter stomach. I am too poor and too chicken for drastic measures like surgery, but tht voice gets me to thinking. I could just buy new clothes. I could just try to b happy with my body the way it is. I don't want to spend all my time working out. She is full of these excuses and I have admit that they all Lund good and rational before 7 am or when cake and cookies are plentiful.
I listened to her today. She made a good point. Suga was up and it was just "too hard to concentrate on my workout while trying to watch her." That was all it took and my workout was over. I know I need to do better and be stronger. I know my resolution was to work on staying motivated. I am going to keep trying. I think adding the veggie juice would help, but I have been too nervous to even try it with something other than fruit.
The truth is that if I want things to keep changing, I am going to have to toughen up. I am not sure that I know how to do that, but I am going to try. I have one month and one more roll to exorcise before I can be considered bikini ready. So now is the time to dig deep and figure out how to get my head back in the game.
Today, however, will probably be a loss.
She is the one who tells me that I am too tired or don't have enough time to workout or that eating that piece of cake will somehow make me feel better about my job or my life. It it is that voice that tells me there has to be an easier way to get a flatter stomach. I am too poor and too chicken for drastic measures like surgery, but tht voice gets me to thinking. I could just buy new clothes. I could just try to b happy with my body the way it is. I don't want to spend all my time working out. She is full of these excuses and I have admit that they all Lund good and rational before 7 am or when cake and cookies are plentiful.
I listened to her today. She made a good point. Suga was up and it was just "too hard to concentrate on my workout while trying to watch her." That was all it took and my workout was over. I know I need to do better and be stronger. I know my resolution was to work on staying motivated. I am going to keep trying. I think adding the veggie juice would help, but I have been too nervous to even try it with something other than fruit.
The truth is that if I want things to keep changing, I am going to have to toughen up. I am not sure that I know how to do that, but I am going to try. I have one month and one more roll to exorcise before I can be considered bikini ready. So now is the time to dig deep and figure out how to get my head back in the game.
Today, however, will probably be a loss.
Friday, April 5, 2013
Hiding
I am currently sitting int my bedroom with the lights off wishing the birds outside would be quiet. This is interesting be ause I am scared of the dark, but I am willing to suffer some fright if it means that my daughter will sleep just a little longer.
Between the birds and my son talking loud enough to wake the neighbors, I am not sure if I will even get ten more minutes. I have a lot to do today and all I want this morning is some quiet. So I am hiding. I am tarting to think the sound of me typing is to loud. Shhh...the sound of you reading is to loud. This is usually the time some telemarketer calls my house. Grr!
Please, whatever you do, just don't wake the baby.
Between the birds and my son talking loud enough to wake the neighbors, I am not sure if I will even get ten more minutes. I have a lot to do today and all I want this morning is some quiet. So I am hiding. I am tarting to think the sound of me typing is to loud. Shhh...the sound of you reading is to loud. This is usually the time some telemarketer calls my house. Grr!
Please, whatever you do, just don't wake the baby.
Tuesday, April 2, 2013
Neighborhood Addition
You know something is up in your neighborhood when there is no bookstore in the mall. There is also problem when you only have one store that sells clothes that you could potentially wear on a job interview. The mall near my house is home to various shoe stores, weave sellers, hoochie wear and a Macy's. That is a problem.
Another sign of the problem should have been my mother's reference to it as "the shoot'em up mall". Yes, more than one person has been shot there and sometimes more than one person in the same month. I don't feel like that is a normal occurrence outside of war zones and to my knowledge I do not live in a village that is under siege by rebel forces, but I could be wrong. It would not be the first time.
All of these things should have been signs to me, but recently something has happened that has made me question my surroundings and the mall in particular. No, it is not the fact that the workers there are so ghetto that a sales person in the kids shoes store called a customer the b word in front of her kid and followed it up with "Did you hear what I said?" Although in retrospect, that too should have been enough. No, the final straw for me was actually the result of disappointment. There has been an abandoned ToysRUs right next to the mall since I moved here. They recently began to work on it and I got excited about all the things it could be and hoped that it would be a sign if things changing and improving. I spent weeks speculating on all the possibilities. Was Toys going to give it another shot? Was it going to be clothes? Maybe, an actual book store or a department store that doesn't sell clothes and perfume made by rappers.
Unfortunately, I was wrong on all counts. It was to become none of those things. As I drove by the other day, the writing was literally on the wall. It had become a police station. I know I should feel a greater sense of security, but really it did not. There was already a small police station in the back part that was expected size for a mall. This just made me feel like this mall area was so bad that we needed to bump up police presence to level seen in some small towns.
Looking for a bright side, I figure, maybe better stores will come since it shouldn't be to hard to get those pesky shooters and shoplifters taken care of.
Another sign of the problem should have been my mother's reference to it as "the shoot'em up mall". Yes, more than one person has been shot there and sometimes more than one person in the same month. I don't feel like that is a normal occurrence outside of war zones and to my knowledge I do not live in a village that is under siege by rebel forces, but I could be wrong. It would not be the first time.
All of these things should have been signs to me, but recently something has happened that has made me question my surroundings and the mall in particular. No, it is not the fact that the workers there are so ghetto that a sales person in the kids shoes store called a customer the b word in front of her kid and followed it up with "Did you hear what I said?" Although in retrospect, that too should have been enough. No, the final straw for me was actually the result of disappointment. There has been an abandoned ToysRUs right next to the mall since I moved here. They recently began to work on it and I got excited about all the things it could be and hoped that it would be a sign if things changing and improving. I spent weeks speculating on all the possibilities. Was Toys going to give it another shot? Was it going to be clothes? Maybe, an actual book store or a department store that doesn't sell clothes and perfume made by rappers.
Unfortunately, I was wrong on all counts. It was to become none of those things. As I drove by the other day, the writing was literally on the wall. It had become a police station. I know I should feel a greater sense of security, but really it did not. There was already a small police station in the back part that was expected size for a mall. This just made me feel like this mall area was so bad that we needed to bump up police presence to level seen in some small towns.
Looking for a bright side, I figure, maybe better stores will come since it shouldn't be to hard to get those pesky shooters and shoplifters taken care of.
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